Attending a Marriage Preparation Course gives you time together as a couple to focus on your relationship. You will be introduced to skills that will and qualities that may help you meet your high expectations of married life. You will meet other couples and will be able to discuss issues with them that are relevant to this stage of your relationship. All this will take place in an atmosphere that is encouraging. Courses are delivered by facilitators who are married themselves.
Marriage Preparation courses usually explore family of origin and self-awareness, commitment, conflict resolution, communication skills, church and children. Recent research shows that understanding family background can make a difference to a relationship. A couple who have an open, honest way of communicating with each other are less likely to find conflict resolution a problem. Planning your life together, later there may be children, will require flexibility and compromise.
Participants on courses might be encouraged to reflect upon the actual formula of consent in the marriage ceremony. "I take you as my husband/wife, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life.
Marriage is often for the better, for richer and experienced in good health. But at times it is for worse, it can lead to impoverishment and it will have to endure sickness. Those who intend to set out on this journey should have some sense that their commitment will be tested by life. (Fr. Michael Drumm)
So, preparing as well as possible should definitely be a priority for any couple contemplating marriage.
Feedback constantly shows that couples who attended marriage preparation courses were delighted that they had done so. Firstly it gave them special time together as a couple away from all other distractions to concentrate on themselves and their relationship. They mention in particular that the openness and honesty of the facilitators in speaking about their own experiences as being important. They were also encouraged to speak about issues they had not previously thought of or had even being avoiding, but the atmosphere of the course made it easier to do so. Meeting other couples experiencing the same excitement, anxieties and asking the same questions was particularly helpful.
Recent research with Irish couples after they had been married for one year shows that they recognised the importance of having done preparation for their marriage.
Comments from couples who have attended courses:
"I had looked forward to this course and it met all my expectations. It's a relief to get the headspace to talk about the marriage as opposed to the clamour of the wedding. To the cynics, I would say if you can spend four weekends looking for the perfect shoes, you can spend one weekend to talk about what is the rest of your life!"
"The priest was particularly good which made the section on 'Church' interesting. He gave very sound practical advice, I can see us using in our future relationship together."